One thing that has been brought to my attention in the last couple of days is that I don’t trust a lot of people. Yes – I have 2,200 friends on Facebook and I have 550 people in my cell phone contact list, but I am not so sure I can call many of those people a true friend back. I hear people say…”You’re so sweet.” “You have such a servant’s heart.” “You’ve got more friends that I could ever imagine having.” “What do you mean you don’t have a lot of best friends?” But when the day comes to the end – I am sitting in my room wondering who is concerned for my well being. I don’t bring this up for sympathy. I believe a lot of it has to do with being fearful of embracing the goodness of pure and godly relationships. Its like Jon preached about a few Sundays ago from the gospel John, Jesus did what He saw the Father in Heaven doing. If you have not witnessed healthy relationship then how can you portray one? Here are some questions people might ask…
Why should you have people surrounding you?
Hebrews 10:25 says, “Let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another.”
Remember the scripture that says, “raise a child in the way he should go and he will not turn from it?” – This didn’t mean for you to be raised in the preference of the parents, but in the way God has planned.
Or what about in Genesis 2:18, “For it is not good for man to be alone…” – This was not just meant for marriage.
One of the most desired things for human beings is the desire for relationships and not being left alone.
God designed us to have intimate relationships in our path, but not in His path for our lives.
How do you open up to someone?
Clear Communication is key! Just think about Matthew 18.
Set clear and measurable boundaries. Its like Jesus said in 1 John 4:16, 1:16 that He was love, but he is not darkness. This set clear boundaries of what He was, but also what He was not!
Start with small pieces. Share what you feel comfortable with. You have to set boundaries in your words, time, emotions, and some times even in touch.
What boundaries should you put up?
When I think of this question I refer to the Ten Laws of Boundaries identified by Dr. Henry Cloud in Boundaries. They are:
#1 The Law of Reaping and Sowing
#2 The Law of Responsibility
#3 The Law of Power
#4 The Law of Respect
#5 The Law of Motivation
#6 The Law of Evaluation
#7 The Law of Proactivity
#8 The Law of Envy
#9 The Law of Activity
#10 The Law of Exposure
What do you do to set boundaries? What kind of boundaries do you have with the people in your life? When did you put up those boundaries? Why?
As I kept writing this blog tonight I told Casey.. I am not sure I know how this ties into Mission Monday’s blog other than the fact that I am on a mission to kick my fears in the throat and head straight forward into healthy relationships. Pray for me!
Give ‘em a kick!