I have thought all day what I would write about on this THOUGHTFUL Tuesday. A few of the girls are very anxious to read what I am going to write today because they know what I have been going through these past few days. If you know me at all then you know I am a pretty private person with the heart issues. Over the past four days I have been having to face the heart issues head on. When I mean head on…I’m talking hurt, bitterness, anger, sad, thankful, tears, heartache….
If it were Simply Said Saturday, this blog might would say FREEDOM…or HEARTBROKEN….or FINALLY!
On the phone I hear…”Its going to be okay… it just wasn’t God’s best for you!” Or how about “God’s going to use this to minister to so many girls…you are just starting this Women’s Ministry!” Then there was “this is the first guy you opened your heart up to and its going to take GOD to heal you, but HE WILL!” These are the words that came from my mentor/big sister’s mouth on Monday night as I filled her in on what was going on. Don’t get me wrong – she is someone that I trust to provide comfort, understanding and TRUTH IN LOVE! These words were not what I WANTED to hear, yet completely what I NEEDED to hear.
I feel a little crazy that it took me so long to see the answer to a question I asked a long time ago. No, I never got an answer from him. Some one once said, “No answer quite possibly could be THE answer!” Wow – Stupid me! I wish I could express more about what is really going on, but it just seems unnecessary if I can just express the lessons learned even more clearly!
Today as I started off a meeting with my boss, he said, “where should we begin?” I boldly replied, “With PRAYER! Prayer for me!” Being the wise and compassionate person that he is he began praying for me and our meeting. He followed it up with the fact that it is okay to hurt and be disappointed some times because that is a part of LIFE. Many times we think that it has to go great all of the time to be considered LIFE. But life actually incorporates the bad and even the ugly. Many people laugh when they ask me how I am doing and I respond with, “Living the DREAM!” I am living a dream, but the past few days seemed more like a nightmare. Does that every happen to you?
Lessons Learned:
1. I don’t want to be with a man who does not know how to communicate!
2. I want God to use this – HE will and already has been! Maybe I should write a WHAT NOT TO DO column on Relationships!
3. Just when you feel like you’re tough enough to face the battle alone, God provides people to bring you comfort, peace, encouragement, and LOVE.
4. It’s not about him! It’s not about ME! It is about GOD getting the glory.
Now – Don’t think that these lessons are fully learned or embraced! I just know this to be the truth so I have to cling to it. I know I will have good and bad days…but even those are numbered and known by GOD. One line of this song. HOW HE LOVES, comes to mind… “He is jealous for me…” Why the heck have I been running from HIM!
I have been reading The Blue Parakeet by Scot McKnight about Rethinking How You Read the Bible. Just in the beginning pages it talks about how we ‘retrieve and receive’ the truths of the Bible. McKnight says that the real question we must ask ourselves is “How, then, are we to live out the Bible today?”
One thing I have enjoyed so far about the book is that it says that God spoke to Paul during his time in Paul’s ways or Joseph in Joseph’s ways or Noah in Noah’s ways. Rest assured that He is going to speak to you and I right now in the present in OUR way! Does that mean that it changes the truth that God originally intended? Not if we look at it as the Great Tradition. How can we live out the truth of the Bible right now through our anger and tears and joys?
It keep flipping back to the cover of the book…Rethinking! I just want to ask myself, What WAS my perspective of this situation? What is my perspective now that I am facing it? HOW am I going to live out the BIBLE through these circumstances. What are the good, the bad and the ugly in your LIFE? What do you view the world through?
The scientist views the world through a microscope.
The astrologist views the world through a telescope
My granny reads the world through a magnifying glass.
I prefer to view the world through my Canon 50D.
Thank you for all of your prayers and love and listening ears that all of you have been for me. I am excited to see where God is taking me. I know its going to be hard to just snap out of this…I will need some hands pushing and pulling me along the way…I am ready!
